who do you worship?

Recently a friend that i have known for only a short time asked one of those questions that it seems everyone asks eachother at one point or another - one of those, 'i want to get to know you, but not too much; i know, i'll plumb the depths of your pop culture preferences, and go from there!' - and, to be fair, it's so much safer to ask another person what they read rather than what they think about... and, perhaps not unlike most people, i'm very much attached to the persona that i create based on, among other things, the books i read.
Having said that, the afore-mentioned friend asked if there were 1 book that i felt everyone should read, 1 'important' book, what would i choose?
I couldn't say.
Honestly, how could anyone answer that question? And yet, it is an intriguing problem that, especially in this modern world, confronts us on a daily basis: we are constantly being asked to give an account of ourselves - to convey the things that make us who we are as individuals - without taking too much time, or effort to do so; is it any wonder we resort to wearing certain clothes, or styling our hair in certain ways (etc.), in an effort to communicate with eachother? Maybe it's just me, but i know that one of the reasons i have decided to dye my hair, pierce my ear, and (soon) tattoo images on my skin is because i'm growing more troubled every day by how few people seem to know me - and how even fewer seem to care to get to know me, and, most terrifying, how i feel completely incapable of giving anyone a reason to want to know me.
I'm rambling, but it does lead me to touch on one of my more favorite contemporary authors, Alain de Botton.
To date, I have read the following:
"On Love" ('93) - "The Romantic Movement" ('94) - "How Proust Can Change Your Life" ('97) - "The Consolations of Philosophy" ('00) - "The Art of Travel" ('02)
... in fact, i think the only book of his i haven't read is "Kiss & Tell" ... no, wait - looking in the backs of the books, i see he has a website (of course he does) [www.alaindebotton.com] and he's written several more that i haven't read! sigh.
deBotton's books are all hard to categorize, in my opinion, because they seem to combine several different styles/disciplines and in the end create a unique form.
All of his work seems to concentrate on the human condition, and in that sense i suppose some could describe him as a bit of a self-help writer, but i think he's far more subtle and sincere than those books that read like lists of ways to improve your quality of living.
Mostly, i love that he never ceases to ask questions, to endeavor to answer them, and then decide that any answers he can find are not really good enough - to me, his work is about the importance of the self-examined life; even if i can't make sense of things, i'll continue to try to do so, and his books feed that desire to reach some level of understanding.
I must acknowledge, however, that part of the pleasure i derive from de Botton's writing is a bit of self-indulgence, as i tend to imagine myself as a sensitive, soul-searching artist who longs to discover his place in the world (and, as a bonus, to find a lover who he won't drive away). In several of de Botton's books, especially "On Love" & "The Romantic Movement " i feel a strong kinship with the protagonists - which points to the writer's gifts in creating believable characters, surely - who also appear to me as being sensitive, soul-searching lonely-hearts... In other words, i am conforted by his characters, whose very existence prove to me that i am not alone in my miseries and joys. Perhaps that is not as guilty a pleasure as i think it is, but sometimes i wonder.
But, back to the writer.
de Botton's style is a combination of academic essay & plain-spoken observation.
The chapters often vary greatly in length, and, within each chapter, there can be many 'sub' chapters.
One thing that de Botton does that i have never seen done so effortlessly is that he quotes other writers constantly, in a way that seems to me to indicate that he is an avid reader himself (and honestly, don't you sometimes wonder if some writers EVER read anything, - even a newspaper?) - it feels right that he should be as addicted to a well-turned phrase as anyone else.
And then there is what perhaps i like best of all about de Botton's style - he ALWAYS includes pictures, and not just photographs, but diagrams and illustrations that relate directly to some concept that he is attempting to explain. There is something so charming in this understanding that, even though he is creating a piece of art with words, the visual world is always a part of the reading experience, and to someone like myself who cannot go for more than a few minutes of converstion without resorting to some physical gesture or hastily scribbled doodle to make my point, it is appreciated.
To close, here is a sample that i hope will give some impression of de Botton's gifts:
"And yet she could no longer believe it was really [him] she was missing. She felt a loss while recognizing the object of love hadn't warranted it. ... She was in the paradoxical position of feeling nostalgia for a situation which had not in fact happened outside the bounds of wishful anticipation. It was strange to think that the person responsible for eliciting an emotion might be unable to live up to it. ... It was a reminder of the subtle but vital distinction between what a person allows another to think belongs to them and what actually does so - a distinction between the need they might embody and who they in fact turn out to be."
All this brings thoughts of dislocation and lack of identity, which in turn bring to mind two more authors whom i have an enduring love for - Haruki Murakami & Ruth Rendell (who also goes by at least one other pen name - Barbara Vine).
If i can motivate myself to, i'll write about them next time.
I'm sure you - whoever you are - can hardly wait : )